Most awesome thing about being Horde: rhythm

I will admit you don't get this kind of a rack when Tauren warstomp. But believe me, under that innocent, fleshy costume, there's a furry little Tauren, all stomped out.

Yes, that’s right.  You see, we Horde have crazy rhythm.

1) Human versus Undead dancing.

Hands-down, we rule here.  Sure, disco is awesome.  But what happens at really awesome parties?  It’s not disco, sir or madam: it’s horns.  That’s right.  Throw them horns and rock out with your … whatever part of you hasn’t fallen off yet.  Just keep it out and keep a-rockin’.

2) Trolls and Orcs versus Gnomes and Dwarves.

Hell, yes, it’s a dispossessed dance-off.  Pants optional.  It’s a tough call with the Dwarf dances, but honestly, if you drank as much as Dwarves really do, you couldn’t jump or dance like that.  Let’s be realistic after all.  Sheesh.

3)Blood Elves v. those guys with the squid tentacles.

I’m gonna give it to you straight: Belfs can’t get any whiter.  And we all know white people can’t dance.  Who are their dance models? Britney and Napoleon Dynamite.  I mean yeah, I rolled my belf just for the ND dance.  I coulda been many other races as a mage, but I was a mufkin voter-for-Pedro mage, through and through.  So which dances did the squid people get?  Daler Mehndi and Shakira.  We all know giving Horde a race of Nordic super models was to make up for all the years of naked night elf dancing the Alliance got.  On the flip side, giving Alliance one race with exotic flava makes up for the white bread you’ve had to endure all along.  Savor the flavor.  You win this round.

4)  Tauren versus Night Elves.

I know what you’re thinking.  Who can beat Billie Jean at the dance?  Who can challenge masterful pole dancing… in a bikini?  No one.  You win on that basis, no problemo.  I mean, the Electric Slide?  The Peanut Butter Jelly Time?  Ouch.  It’s a given: night elves win versus tauren in the dance-off.  However, in the case of these races, superiority is not strictly about the dance.


Yeah, you heard me.  Where all other racial abilities are lame (except Will of the Forsaken, another WIN for the Horde), the Tauren get a special bump to rhythm with warstomp.  Sure, I’ve read the posts where the NE shadowmeld allows you to break combat to eat, rez, change gear, read a book, update your Facebook status, or call your mom to pick you up after school.  But we Tauren get stompy stompy.  We got the beat.  We got the beat.  Yeah, we got it.

Wait, what?

Now, I’m not one to jump to conclusions all the time.  So I went and checked this out.  So… check it out.  Shadowmeld most DEFINITELY breaks combat.


Still don’t believe me?  Here’s a video I took.  Yep, waiting the effing 2 minutes for shadowmeld to come up again.  All for science and because I couldn’t believe in a million years that an entire race would get to break combat so easily.

See?  Yep, a whole mufkin race with what is basically vanish.  Vanish!!  But, ya know… warstomp.  Hey, hey.  An entire race with a 2 second stun.  Every 2 minutes.  And it can be pushed back.  But ya know… So we got that goin’ for us… which is nice.

So rock, on Hordies.  While the flippy folk get silly things like a second potion during boss fights, a few extra seconds to grab a drink, and a few more options for breaking combat and fleeing (don’t forget, once they break combat, durids gives you wiiiiiiings!), we are the rhythm nation.  Uh huh, rhythm is gonna get you, Alliance.  To-night. Bump-bump, bumpa-dump!


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