How to kill fire ants without poisoning yourself

I don’t care what the local ag extension office says:  pesticides are poisons and leach into groundwater.  You poison your yard, you poison yourself.

There’s a better way: Malt-o-Meal.

Yep, that same crud my mom used to make me eat as a kid.  Well, now it’s my best friend.  I heard about this at Sea World (before I saw how cramped and sad the animals were and stopped going). Of course, I can find nothing to footnote that online.  Oh well.  Just try it.  Word is, these ants are like pigeons: when the food they put into their gross little anty faces starts to expand, they can’t burp it up.  Nothing like an alien malt-o-meal jumping out of your exoskeleton.  Ew.  Grits and some other breakfast cereals may work, too.

And if that doesn’t work, A&M is already releasing the ants’ natural predator, a fly that makes the ants into zombies.  I support zombification plans!  Except, this one sounds a little cane-toady to me…

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4 thoughts on “How to kill fire ants without poisoning yourself

  1. I’ve used grits + a bit of sugar (as an attractant) on ant mounds, and it definitely causes the buggers to abandon ship. It’s extremely unlikely to actually kill the queen, but it can at least be enough to move them out of your yard.

    1. Fair enough: “kill” might be overboard, but gone is gone. In fact, I think running them off is better than straight-up killing. Glad you had good luck either way. 🙂

      1. Well, shifting them over to you neighbors will just result in them dumping poisons and them.

      2. Reality, thy name is Jymmi. Hmm… Well, I’ll just have to spread the word to my neighbors then, too. What’s the worst that can happen? None of us use pesticides and I meet the neighborhood? Ok!

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