1973: Dip that banana, baby

“Hmm. I’m a 1973 housewife flipping through my Family Circle. I’m looking for something that will satisfy my appetite for a wholesome snack and also my otherwise closeted love of kiddie erotica.”

So here’s the story. I’ve been packing up my house which contains, among other randomness, vintage magazines. Yes, you can have them if you want them. I found some 70’s Family Circles and Woman’s Days and thought it’d be fun to use the funky shag and harvest gold images as either inspiration for decorating or a good laugh. Either way, I began flipping through. Side note: the photos back then aren’t exactly awe-inspiring. Maybe it was just this issue.

So here comes (heh) April 1973. Great! Flip, flip, flip… whoa. Is that kid stuffing a huge banana in her mouth while staring into the camera? That’s vaguely unsettling. Open wider, Sally. Wider! The camera loves you.

Um. That banana going into the cup seems a little suggestive. But I’ve been letting my 14-year-old psyche run wild lately. I’ll let that *ahem* slide. (See? I just can’t leave it alone.)

No. This is clearly not my imagination. Not only is that girl looking over her shoulder at the boy RIGHT behind her, he seems overly excited to see that unnaturally large and girthy banana, complete with creamy puff at the end and a tendril of sweet, hot chocolate running down its shaft.

Really? REALLY? For realsie real? Wow. There were some dirty old men advertisers out there in the past. Well, ok. And present and future. The mind boggles.

Oh, thanks Dole and Dixie! I always wondered who stole my childhood innocence. Thanks for clearing that up.

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